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Apr. 6th, 2008 | 06:21 pm
mood: tiredtired

the image i originally posted with this was taken down i guess. it was a picture of an old couple and the man was holding a sign saying something along the lines of "gay marriage doesn't threaten my marriage". brilliant

stuff like this gives me a little glimmer of hope that there is still some love out there.

and now i'm off to go running outside on this glorious spring day. hoorah.*

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i miss la shish

Mar. 21st, 2008 | 04:19 am
mood: contemplativecontemplative

i lack:
- independence
- motivation
- direction
- useful knowledge*
- the know-how on how to gain these attributes

i didn't imagine my college years to be so....dreadful.

the things i enjoy doing most aren't found in textbooks and don't pay money.
je ne sais pas.

step one.
get out of the anthropology program. as interesting as it is, i'm going nowhere with it.
step two.
go into business. sure, business programs just create these cookie-cutter slaves to the 9-5 office job, but but but....i'll get monies.....
ack! this is all so horrid.

i wish my gall bladder would just let me be content and healthy. the weather is getting so lovely....nature is beckoning for me to run upon its grassy knolls. or knee-jarring concrete sidewalks. mmhmmm. goal this year? run a 10k. maybe the detroit turkey trot. who knows. right now, i just want to get into bikini-shape. see where my priorities are? thank you, mass media, for warping my mind and helping me to only care about vanities. really helps me to discover what's really important in life!

i just don't know.  so many people have it so much worse. why am i so discontent? i take too much for granted.
what to do, what to do.

platonic dates are the way to go.
no pressure, no pressure.


i miss french. i want to learn more languages. those were my favorite types of classes. out of all the college courses i've experienced, i've enjoyed the languages the most. latin? you rock, but but but you made me cry because you were so goddamn difficult. why am i using past tense? YOU ARE DIFFICULT ARHGGHHDGHH. c'est vrai. lovely how romance languages reflect these difficulties, though they don't have those evil declensions to worry about. ahhhhhhhhhhhh. madness. ILOVEEET,

i miss rambling in a journal like this. i s'pose i shall do this more often. help with my rage issues. what?

i could go for some thrifting right now. i think i'll do that today. look for books and other useless odds'n'ends. joy.

i need to stop looking at all the apartment listings on craigslist. it gets my hopes up.
time to loook fer a fulltime joooob. boom.
misery awaits!

note to self: stop starting paragraphs with "i". it's very rude. you're so self-absorbed. stop that. you heard me.

* i.e. knowledge that can make me moneeeyyy

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what happens in the meadow at dusk?

Mar. 21st, 2008 | 04:09 am
mood: apatheticapathetic

the more i learn, the less i understand about life.

i'm not sure what to feel.

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(no subject)

Nov. 30th, 2007 | 12:31 am
mood: depresseddepressed

well. i thought i was done with this applying to college bullshit....but of course not. what was i thinking? me, the person who hasn't stuck with a major for more than a year...hmm. well. with my decisions to take on those other majors (spanish, french, classics, latin, anthro, bio...not in that horrible order), i pretty much came to those on a mere whim. i held some sort of interest in each of those fields (and still do...), but none really evoked some sort of passionate flare from me. ( we should all have passionate flares, right? right?)  a simple conversation with my father a couple weeks ago spurned a very sudden epiphany.  i have this lingering fascination with wine. oh. go into viticulture. WHAT? why had i never googled/wikipediaed that before?! viticulture / enology. perfect!  i actually had a sort of FEELING, an excitement leap up inside of me at the thought of it.  so. this would require a bachelors of science in viticulture/enology...of course, this is a program not widely offered. so i set myself upon the adventure of finding a university that could give me a wonderful learning experience (HA).  well. not in michigan. no college in michigan explicitly offers a viticulture/enology degree. ok. next closest state...iowa. hmm. alabama? NO. i did look at brock university in st. catherines, ontario....but the application fee is $150 and the canadian education system is really bizarre. so i'll be sticking to the US for now. i believe i'll be applying to washington state university, oregon state university and....michigan state. ugh. dislike. i had vowed to NOT attend msu...but i may have to break that. such a massive college and loads of people from grade school and high school go there. oh joy, awkward run-ins. but they have a horticulture program (a good one, at that) which will prepare me to go on to a master's in viticulture/enology....though i would prefer to get my bachelor's in it, as well. buuut....who knows. might just end up staying at wayne state. eeesh.

what did i accomplish today? i learned that i need to stop fencing against guys because...it makes me horribly aware of how single i am and with all the jabbing and slashing, it makes me yearn for...a relationship?! ugh. damn my social ineptitude.  i talk to everyone in my classes, but it never goes any further than that. just a class acquaintance. this is why i have no friends! i hate being a commuter. :( plus, i hate paying these outrageous gas prices and having to sit in traffic, for what? oh, to sit in class for hours on end, listening to "profs" drone on about topics they know too much about, yet do not understand how to properly pass their wisdom on to the eager eager student. geez.

i also reinstalled mac os x on the macbook....waaaay easier than when i would do it on my old dell. i shall never go back to PC!

if i go to bed now...i can get 10 hours of sleep, go to the gym, and go to work. sounds good. let's see if i actually do it.


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(no subject)

May. 30th, 2007 | 03:57 pm

this morning whilst i was half awake and half asleep....i was thinking of a novel to write. it was somewhat distuburbing, descriptive and jaded. all the dialogue, narrative and actions were playing out in my head as i laid in my bed....and now it's all gone.

i would love to write a novel.
i don't think i have the patience.
after about 5 pages i'd probably think that i'm writing a paper for college and just be like screw it, this is too much work.
i have a horrible work ethic.
little effort, big results.

french test now.
87 degrees out.
hello, summer.

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mmmm beer

May. 20th, 2007 | 08:45 pm

a rather amusing journey to canada last night made me make this (ever-growing) list...

molson canadian

newcastle brown ale
guinness (not veggie friendly, either)

stella artois (though i might try again because when i had it before, it wasn't chilled properly....and i was on a hot beach. ugh.)
natty ice
miller high life

should try:
goose island
bud select
bell's....maybe oberon or pale
sierra nevada

hmm, i'm starting to really like beer. now i just need to turn 21. hmmph.

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(no subject)

Apr. 8th, 2007 | 01:09 am

here i sit, early easter marnin', indulging on some DELICIOUS extreme dark chocolate. mmmmmmm. bring on the milk and oreos! woot.

today i didn't get up until 3pm. that's a good day right there. ha. most of it i was just completely out for, though i did have some dreams. i find it a waste of a night if there are no dreams. i did have one dream where i was in a car with jeff goldblum. he was driving and i was in the back seat and we were trying to figure out where to go. i think he had a map in his lap, and for no reason whatsoever, i just leaned up into the front between the seats and just started this ridiculously sexy make out session with him. it was amazing. i believe this was a lucid dream. mmm. there was more, but....yeah....mmmm. i need to remember sometime to fiddle with lightswitches during lucid dreams!! (go watch waking life). hmm. so i guess jeff goldblum is my new crush. for now. ha. i find him oddly appealing and randomly sexy. mmm. or it's because i've watched like all four episodes of that raines show. i really like it. i'm scared that it will get cancelled, though it seems to be doing well. hoorah.

mmmmmm chococcoooollaaaattteeeeee. i lovey ou.

ok now i'm feeling a little sickly from all the chocolate. i need milk!

so today i just felt like putting a bunch of mousse into my hair and blow dried it to make it as large as possible. so i did. muahah.

my mom and i were watching the ten commandments cause it was on tv but we got bored so we put it on mute and made our own dialogue.

gahd, SNL is so unfunny now. :( i miss the 1997-2004 seasons. booo. like, dick in a box was pretty good and lazy sunday was hilarious, buuuut that's about it....nothing to boast about. hmmph.


time for nothing.

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(no subject)

Apr. 6th, 2007 | 05:03 am

wtf, michigan? wtf.

25 degrees.

uhm. how about that 80 degree day about a week ago...

coomeee baaaaaackkkkkkk

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(no subject)

Apr. 6th, 2007 | 04:17 am

hahah. so here i sit, trying to write a paper that was due a month ago...and i'm chatting away with my sister's ex-boyfriend. now, i definitely don't like him in a romantic way, because that would be just weird. he's like a very amusing older brother that won't get over my sister. uh. right. so sad. i want to hang out with him and whatnot, but obviously can't do that. booo. damn heartless sister. oh well.

fucking mythology paper. it really shouldn't be this hard to fucking write. i'm so glad i quit work for the next month so i can try to get all the things i have to do done. i don't think any of this is making sense because it is....4:14am. score.

bill murray is attractive.

ugh i'm so pissed that i'm all out of coffee. good thing my chai came in the mail.......can't wait to make some of that. i gotta pick up some soymilk though. the stuff we have here has been sitting in the fridge for awhile, so it's probably bad bad bad. la la la. mmmm silk vanilla soymilk. booyah.

if i can get through this month, i will be thrilled. i think i can do it and come out with a good GPA. score. even though i slacked off a lot, i'm trying to redeem myself. hmm.

french oral exam next thursday? bring it.


damn you 4am. you make me crazy.

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today today

Apr. 3rd, 2007 | 02:25 pm

today is a satisfying day

i skipped my french class at 11:45 (really shouldn't have, but i was just all grhnnn this marnin' and refused to do anything.)
today i will tell mah fajah to not put me on the schedule to work for like the next month. just thinking about all the things i have to accomplish this months makes me anxious and i don't need to worry about working. ugh. hello poor.

an example of my slacker expertise. i hadn't gone to my mytho class in like a month because i was afraid to go because i didn't turn in a paper that was due march 9. hhaaha. i'm an idiot because i knew what to write and everything, it just came down to me being ridiculously lazy. i suck. anyway. i went to class on friday and on monday mostly because we had a test that i know i didn't do well on at all, oh well. when i turned in my test he was like, stephaniieeeeeee, did you turn in a paper to me? and i just kinda froze and said noo......*sad face.* do you want me to? and he was like uhmmmmmm (think office space here) yeaaaaaahhh, a D is better than a zero....and i was like alllrighty then and i bolted. ha. lame. i'm not a bad student i swear! but when i slack off on something. i go big. hhhahahh. boooo.

last night at my film class...oh professor. i want to hug you and do more. ha. ugh. anyway. we watched "priscilla: queen of the desert" HA. go watch it now. ridiculously weird. but pretty good. very flashy. transvestites. hooray. after class i had to go talk to the prof about how my french class at wayne starts the same day and time as this one has its final...well. he was standing behind his podium like 3 feet away. when he was done talking to one girl, he steps out from behind his podium (i realize now he's only a few inches taller than me, but very large and booming) and he seriously steps up to me to the point where he's like 6 inches away from me. uhhmmm can we saaaaay....heart fluttering?! lame. i need to learn to breathe sometime. i felt like an idiot. no big surprise there though.

oh, it's a wonderful feeling knowing that this will be the last time i'm working for a long time. then i have to think about all the other shit i have to get done.

it sucks that i don't have a break in between semesters. going to school year round! fuck yeah. no.

my mom found my sweet retainers from like 10th grade that i haven't seen in quite awhile. the top kinda fits, but the bottom....no way. and these aren't the snazzy clear ones that you just slip on and you can't really see them. nooo. these are the classy wire ones that they mold the palette of your mouth for and you could pick out the color (mine are green on top and white/black on the bottoms) badass. so i'll start wearing them again for nostalgic purposes.

ugh i guess i should wrap this up and get ready for fucking work. ugh ugh ugh.

i want my damn chai. it's still in california. booooooo

i hope it storms today.

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